


What You Will

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Episode: s02e18 17 People, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-05-05
Updated: 2001-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-15 07:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14786522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh's shining armor begins to show a little tarnish.





	1. What You Will

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

 

So once more with feeling: I do not own the West Wing or any of its characters. But at this point I think the Powers that be should be a heck of a lot more worried about the upcoming strikes than they are about me. This piece is a sequel to "As You Wish" which I guess you don't need to have read first but it will make more sense. References up to and including "17 people". Most glaring spoilers are for "The Stackhouse Filibuster", "Lame Duck Congress", "ITSOTG", "The Crackpots and These Women" and the Pilot. Thanks as always for reading my work, I hope you enjoy it. -B.G. 

**What You Will**

By The Bondi Gargoyle

"Josh I'm going to lunch. Do you want anything?" Donna called.

"Are you going to the mess?" he hollered back.

"No, Bonnie and I are heading over to the Big Dome Diner. Do you want a reuben?"

"No," Josh appeared in his doorway "I want you to eat in the mess."

"Why?" she demanded testily

"For a start, the Big Dome is right next to the House Office Building."

"Well thanks for pointing that out. Have you decided to moonlight as a tour guide in your many hours of free time?"

"How about you humour me and avoid Bryan Kitler's stomping ground for a mere twenty-four hours?"

"It's broad daylight out there, what do you think is going to happen?"

"I don't care if it's the midnight sun, I want you staying close to home."

"Gee Dad, what are you going to do the next time I go on a date?"

"Well presumably it won't be with Bryan Kitler, who is today my main concern, but now that you mention it, I've been working out an arrangement with the Secret Service guys for just such an occurrence." Josh announced smugly

"Is this because I decided not to press charges?"

"No, although, as I told you earlier, I think that's a mistake."

"And as I told you, it was more of a near miss than an assault."

"Sure as hell didn't look like a near miss to me." The surrounding staff tried to look busy as Josh's voice rose a few notches.

"Josh, we're going to be lucky if he doesn't press charges against you for threatening him with that damn bat!" Donna too, was getting louder.

"He's not going to press charges, we've got taped evidence on him. Evidence of him attacking you, so why you won't pursue this is beyond me!"

"It's also my goddamn business!" They were both yelling now.

"And you're telling me to stay out of it?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you, not that you ever listen."

"Fine, I'll stay out of your business and you stay out of the Big Dome Diner!"

"I hate to tell you this but you can't ground me."

" Watch me." Josh replied, suddenly dropping back to his normal speaking voice. He pulled a legal pad off his desk "I need these files in the next half an hour."

Donna scanned the list "These are kept all over the building."

"Then you better get to work."

Bonnie joined them "Ready to go?"

"Have you met my boss, Ghengis Josh?" Donna growled, exasperated, waving the legal pad with an angry flick of her wrist.

"Guess you're working through lunch."

Josh pulled out his wallet and handed over a couple of bills. "Bonnie could you get me a reuben, double fries and an egg cream. Donna what do you want?"

"Your head on a plate." 

"Just get her whatever she usually orders"

" You want a club sandwich and a birch beer?" Bonnie asked her friend.

"Thanks. And if they want to season his sandwich with rat poison, that'd be just fine" Donna added heading for the file room.

"Guess your time in the sun is over" Bonnie winked at Josh and headed for the door.

Josh turned back to his office.

"What the hell are you doing?" 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Josh replied heading for his desk certain that CJ would follow him "By the way what's up with Sam? He seemed like he was avoiding me at this morning's meeting."

"He's worried about you, and now, quite frankly, so am I." CJ closed the door behind her and stood with her arms crossed, watching as Josh stood behind his desk, shuffling papers.

"What the hell is he worried about me for?" 

"The fact that you went after Kitler with a bat seems to have upset him."

The papers stilled.

" I didn't go after him with it. I was carrying it when I spoke to him, it's a little different."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, he's mad at us for not going to greater lengths to try and stop you."

Josh nodded "I'll talk to him when he gets back from Interior"

"Would you? To hear him going on last night, he seems to think that you've become Charles Bronson."

"Personally I think I look more like Clint Eastwood."

"You want my opinion on that?"

"Not really."

"Didn't think so. How's Donna doing?"

Josh gave a half shrug. "She's fine. I think she's currently more pissed off with me than she is with Kitler."

"Which seems to be exactly what you're aiming for, which is why I'm worried about you. What's going on Josh?"

"Look, last night I humiliated Bryan Kitler. I would rather she didn't meet up with him for a while because I in no way believe he's let this go and I'd rather that the next time he didn't really hurt her. Other than that, nothing's going on."

"And you didn't just tell her that because...?" CJ asked

"Why should I have to?"

"Because we're intelligent adults and this is how we conduct ourselves."

"Gee, thanks for clearing that up."

"What is going on Josh? Last night, the last thing I saw was you walking Donna out of here with your arm around her. This morning you've been sniping at each other like a couple of Siamese fighting fish. What happened?"

"Nothing happened"

"Bull. Come on, Josh. I know the thing with Kitler last night upset you but this isn't the way you usually deal with it"

Josh stared at his desk.

"Why do you want her mad at you?"

He surrendered to CJ's piercing stare. "Cause I said something really dumb last night and I want her to forget I said it, or at least think I meant something different than I actually did"

"What did you say?"

"I told her... I asked her not to wear that red dress any more," he mumbled.

"At all?"

"Except with me"

"Dear god, you're turning into a romantic!"

"Knock it off, CJ."

"Really Josh, that was seriously sweet." CJ was beaming at him.

"She was talking about how lousy her luck with men is and I just wanted to say something to make her feel, I wanted her to know...." He waved his arms trying to find the right word. "Anyway it was a dumb thing to say"

"Why?"

"Well Idaknow CJ, maybe because I'm her boss?"

"So?"

"So there are rules about these things." He pulled his in-tray closer and began to sort through it, hoping his friend would take the hint. She didn't.

"You're trying to make her hate you, temporarily anyway, so she'll forget that you practically told her you love her?"

"In a nutshell"

"You're an idiot."

"So I'm informed regularly."

"Why don't you just tell her, without hiding it in fashion commentary?"

"Because it will end the universe as we know it," said Josh selecting a file, sitting back in his chair and desperately willing CJ to go away.

CJ, however, wasn't giving up "So your plan is to continue to annoy her all day? How are you going to get any work done, what with your assistant not speaking to you and all?"

"Well apparently I'm not, but hey it's Friday, how much do I really need to achieve?"

"I can't believe this was the best you could come up with."

"It was this or run away and join the Foreign Legion."

"Does that still exist?"

"Supposedly. I saw a documentary on them last weekend."

"You don't do well in heat."

"I'd look fairly stupid in those little hats too. Guess I'll have to stick to 'Plan A'"

"Personally I think you should start thinking about a 'Plan C' but it's your life. You'll talk to Sam?"

"Uh-huh"

CJ shook her head pityingly and returned to her own office.

Leo glanced up as Donna walked by his open door, a certain determination to her stride; her arms weighed down with folders.

"Hey Donna," he called after her.

"Hi Leo," she re-appeared framed in his doorway.

"Do you have a minute?"

"Sure."

"Here put those on the table. What is all this?" he relieved her of her burden, scanning the titles as he set them down.

"Make-work project from Josh. What can I do for you, Sir?"

"I just wanted to check on how you were doing, after last night."

"Oh don't you start" Donna muttered under her breath "I mean I'm fine, thank you for asking."

"I take it I'm not the first?"

"Everyone's been very nice," she said carefully.

"But?"

Donna ducked Leo's inquiring gaze.

"Josh?" he guessed

"He's," Donna began then stopped, reluctant to discuss her boss. Throwaway comments to Bonnie were one thing, but the last time she'd discussed Josh with Leo, it had been during his episode of PTSD. 

Leo shut the door "He's what?"

"He's driving me crazy," Donna admitted with a sigh.

"Yeah, that was to be expected," Leo nodded with a sympathetic laugh.

"I suppose," Donna agreed. "Which in no way makes it easier to live with."

"He'll get past it," the older man re-assured her.

"Would that be before the end of the second term?"

"Presumably."

"Well I hope so." Donna toyed with the files. 

"Is there something else?" Leo prodded gently, recognizing a need to talk in the young woman's face, despite her outward reluctance.

"Off the record?"

"Sure"

"I understand why Josh is acting like a lunatic, well I sort of understand, what I don't understand is why he's not swaggering around more. I expected he'd be bragging to anyone who made the mistake of standing still for two minutes. Normally sending a congressional aide running for cover is worth a twenty-minute re-telling, bare minimum. But when Ginger and Bonnie asked him about it, he changed the subject."

"Frankly I'm surprised that you're surprised," Leo told her.

"Why?"

"Donna when Josh starts bragging, it's because he's stopped some officious senator who was going after the President dead in their tracks; or because he's sent Mary Marsh back under whichever rock it is that woman emerged from. It's about playing politics better than the next guy. Seeing someone he cares about threatened isn't something Josh brags about."

"I didn't mean to suggest-"

"When Lilienfield was going after me, or when the press was hounding Sam about Laurie or that guy from State was making those stupid allegations about CJ, did you once hear Josh brag?"

"No."

"But he was the one who dealt with all of it. He put his own career on the line for me, he made it quite clear to the Party leadership that Sam was above reproach and I don't know what he did to Tad Whatshisname but-"

"I do" Donna confirmed.

"I don't want to know, do I?"

She shook her head. "But Leo, those situations were different."

"Yes they were. Donna, part of the reason he's driving you crazy, is because this is driving him crazy. For Josh, those other times, he knew how to handle them because they were political fights; he's trained his whole life for those kinds of battles. What happened last night scared him."

"Josh isn't scared of Bryan Kitler."

"Of the man, no. Of his actions, well that's another story. As far as Josh is concerned, he let something happen to you and he wants to make sure he never makes that mistake again." 

Leo smiled patiently at her "I know Josh playing knight in shining armor can be a little hard to take, believe me I know; but would it be so difficult to humor him for a couple of days? We both know that given the luck of this administration some crisis is just around the corner. Once he has something else to concentrate on he'll relax, until then go with it."

"It's just that in this case 'it' seems to involve taking Secret Service agents with me when I go out on a date." Donna protested

"There you go, he's already loosening up. Last night I'm pretty sure he was ready to make you give up dating entirely."

"You're a huge help." 

"But not really?"

"No not really" She picked up her files and headed for the door "But thanks anyway, Leo."

Leo crossed to open the door for her "My advice is double date with Charlie and Zoë and pray for Texas to announce plans to secede."

"I'm not sure Josh would miss them."

"The way Hoynes has been acting lately, neither would I," Leo allowed, giving her a last smile and watching as she headed back down the hall 

Margaret tapped on the interior door "Leo, Congresswoman Lobo's on her way up from the front desk."

"Okay, call Josh, tell him to come over."

"Yes, Leo."

"And Margaret try to keep the 'extreme fighting circuit' jokes to a minimum while they're both here."

"You don't think Josh wants to know that the support staff voted him most likely win at Death Match 2001?"

"I really don't"

"I think you're wrong but okay."

Leo rolled his eyes and looked skyward "I hate slow news days." 

 

On his way back from meeting with Leo and the Congresswoman, Josh stopped to make good on his promise to CJ.

"'S up, Sam." He tapped on his friend's doorframe and walked into the office.

"What?" Sam kept his eyes firmly fixed on his computer screen.

"Word is that you think I am, despite being by all appearances a mild mannered White House aide, secretly roaming the streets at night. That, bat in hand, I am seeking out dens of iniquity and making the world safe for truth, justice and the American way. The thing is, when the American people put in a request for a new superhero and they get me, I think they're going to be mighty disappointed."

"You said you would have used the bat," Sam said flatly, clearly unamused by Josh's opening volley.

"Sam, I was ninety-eight percent bluffing."

"It's the other two percent that scares me."

"Look, I'll admit that when I walked into Toby's office I was seeing red, but by the time he stopped me at the door, I was carrying it to make a point. I wanted Kitler to see I had it, because Kitler's the kind of guy who only understands the rule of 'whoever's got the bigger stick wins'. For a start, I hadn't forgotten about the security cameras."

"When we were walking out, I asked if you would have used it and you said: 'Yes'"

"I was kidding."

"No you weren't."

The wide grin faded from Josh's face. "Okay," he said in all seriousness. "Okay, there is one scenario where I would have used it."

"Which is what?"

"If we'd gone down there and Donna hadn't been able to get out of the car. If he had been... if she was..." Josh tried to explain without having to mouth the words. It felt to him that if he said them aloud it would make them much more real, bring the possibility of what could have happened into even sharper focus.

"If she was... yeah." Sam found he couldn't quite bring himself to say it either. It was fine when you were talking statistics. It was another thing entirely when it was a woman you knew and liked.

"If that had been the case, I would have taken the bat to the windshield, or the tail lights or the mirror or anything," Josh admitted. "And in all likelihood, I would have gotten in exactly one swing before Kitler got out of the car and proceeded to kick my ass. But Sam, in order to do that he would have had to let go of her."

Sam looked more receptive.

"I'm glad it didn't come to that," Josh continued. "I'm glad it wasn't necessary; that all I ended up having to do was shoot my mouth off like usual. But, I'll be damned if I would have stood around and talked, while some guy like Bryan Kitler damaged someone I care about. And if you were that situation, I know damn well that you'd do the exact same thing as me. Right?"

"Yes" Sam nodded

"Then you understand?" Josh asked, needing his friend's acceptance.

"Yes."

"Good I'm-"

"What I don't understand is why you don't just tell her how you feel."

"Donna?"

"Yes"

"You don't understand that?"

"Wouldn't it be simpler than stalking the halls until all hours every time she has a date; than threatening congressional aides with grievous bodily harm? Wouldn't it be simpler if she was just dating you?"

"So everyone keeps telling me."

"Who's everyone?"

"So far just you and CJ but I'm sure it's the beginning of a trend. I mean where's the President right now?" Josh glanced at his watch. "Security briefing right? Well hell, let's pull him out of that, because who cares if the Iraqis are shifting ground troops again? What we should really be talking about is: whether I should date my assistant."

"Well, since I think the Joint Chiefs and the N.S.A. have got the situation in the Middle East covered, why don't we concentrate on domestic issues, like you and Donna." Sam grinned boyishly.

Josh scowled in response. "There is absolutely nothing domestic about me and Donna"

"Josh you are the closest thing to an un-married married couple I've ever seen."

"Let's not start that nonsense again"

"Tell her"

"Sam!"

"Tell her, Josh"

"What do you want me to do, Sam, slip it in during morning messages? 'Donna, I'd like you to set up a meeting with Secretary Storik, get me the latest NASDAQ figures, by the way, I love you, and if you're going by the mess in the next three hours could you bring me a Dr Pepper?'"

During this outpouring from Josh, Sam's eyes had grown steadily wider and he had tried to interrupt but Josh was hard man to interrupt at the best of times.

"I don't think you'll need to do that after all." Sam croaked

"Why?" 

"Because I'm standing right behind you," said Donna softly.

"SAM!"

"She wasn't there when you started talking and then I couldn't get you to stop. I tried." 

Josh pointed an accusing finger at his friend, anger making it difficult for him to even speak. "J...J...Just don't...talk to me... for the rest of...this administration."

"Josh-"

"Don't!"

He whirled around to face Donna.

"Do you actually want to see Storik?" she asked as normally as possible.

"No." 

"Didn't think so."

Josh twisted his neck uncomfortably in the tight collar of his shirt and stalked out of the Communications area.

"What's wrong with Josh?" asked Toby, coming out of his office.

"Sam meddled," Donna informed him, looking almost as angry as her boss had.

"Sam!"

"I didn't meddle. I offered sound advice." 

"That's why the Deputy Chief of Staff looks ready to spill blood? Sound advice?"

"It seemed sound at the time, circumstances might have changed."

"As they often do."

Toby shook his head and stepped back into his office

"Hey Toby," Sam called after him "Do me a favour and hide the bat."

 

  


	2. What You Will 2

 

  ****

What You Will: Part 2

By The Bondi Gargoyle

Disclaimers in Part 1

"What's wrong with Josh?" asked Toby, coming out of his office.

"Sam meddled," Donna informed him, looking almost as angry as her boss had.

"Sam!"

"I didn't meddle. I offered sound advice." 

"That's why the Deputy Chief of Staff looks ready to spill blood? Sound advice?"

"It seemed sound at the time, circumstances might have changed."

"As they often do."

Toby shook his head and stepped back into his office

"Hey Toby," Sam called after him "Do me a favour and hide the bat."

 

Donna had returned to her desk and was ostensibly typing a letter for Josh, who had departed without a word for a meeting in the O.E.O.B. Mostly she was staring into space.

"Donna?"

She glanced up to find CJ in front of her.

"That's like the third time I called you."

"Sorry, I was..." she waved a hand at whatever corner of the universe her brain had been in. "What do you need CJ?"

"I could use some fresh air, as I suspect could you. Do you want to come for a walk down to the Mall and back."

"All right." Donna eyed her suspiciously but followed the Press Secretary outside.

"I heard that Laverne and Shirley are at it again," CJ offered sympathetically as they fell into step.

"You heard what he said to Sam?" 

CJ nodded. 

"I don't know what he was thinking."

"Men in love rarely think, period"

"Then you believe he actually is in love with me? I took it as sarcasm." She didn't really but she wasn't about to admit that to CJ.

"Donna, apart from anything he said to Sam today, I saw his face last night. Come to think of it, I've seen his face on a hundred different nights. Like that time when you saved Stackhouse, he was so proud of you. The look in his eyes was so... well I just wish a guy would look at me like that."

Donna sank onto a bench, "CJ, I swear he's taken leave of his senses."

"By falling in love with you?"

Donna managed a faint smile. "No by the fact that he seems determined to talk about it, to other people at least."

"I think that would change if you told him you loved him too."

" I...I..."

"Donna, his wasn't the only face I got a good look at. You're more adept at hiding it but not by that much."

Donna could read CJ well enough to realize denial was pointless. Resignedly, she came clean 

"That's as it may be, but I think we're better off remaining as we are."

"Because?"

"Because I'm worried about what would happen if the press caught wind of it, or the Republican Party, or, at this point, Bryan Kitler, who I'm sure is more than ready to do Josh some damage. CJ, the ability of this city to take something completely innocent and turn it into something sordid is legendary. I can wait."

"You might be able to, but I think Josh's going to lose his mind if you do that to him," CJ smiled. "In fact I don't think sanity is currently his strongest asset."

"Better his mind than his career. Josh has too many enemies, too many people on both sides of the floor, who'll hang him if he gets caught in a sex scandal."

"That's not the first term that comes to mind when I think about you two."

"You might not think in those terms but after the papers are done everyone else is going to. Come on CJ, I'm not talking about Danny or Mark or Katie. I'm talking about the guys who don't have a relationship with us to preserve. The guys just on the outside, looking to get a byline, who aren't above misrepresenting the odd fact to do it. What's a little retraction compared to a fifteen percent jump in circulation."

"I hear where you're coming from, Donna, but why don't you let me worry about that? It's my job to keep the press away from this kind of thing."

" I worry because Josh keeps doing things like this. What he said to Sam today was really stupid. What if a member of the Press Corps had been in the bullpen to see Toby? What if someone says something to one of the reporters, even in joking? Then we'll really be off to the races and, at that point, I'm not sure how even you are going to be able to put on the brakes. I'm not going to let someone do that to Josh and I'm not going to let him do it to himself. If that means we wait, we wait."

CJ nodded slowly. To Donna, she seemed to be weighing something in her mind. Finally she turned to her friend.

"I don't think you need to worry about the press too much." 

"Why not?"

"The Press Corps isn't going to pick up the story."

"Why not?"

"It's old news," answered CJ, cautiously.

"How can it be old news, it's not even current news yet?"

"Can I tell you something you may not like hearing?"

"I guess so."

"There are two popular theories about Josh. And believe me, when I say popular, I include chunks of the White House, the Press Corps and the Hill, not to mention State, Treasury and several other large groups of Federal employees."

"And these theories are what?"

"Well he's either with you or he's with Matt Skinner; depending on who you ask."

"When you say 'with', you mean 'sleeping with'?"

"Yes"

"Oh that's great!" Donna put her head in her hands. "That's just great!"

"Hang on, that's the bad news. The good news is that, at this point, if it came out that you and Josh were involved, it would be treated like old news because most people think you already are. If someone was going to pry into your relationship, they would have done so a long time ago and I'd know about it."

"Oh god" Donna groaned 

"I guess that didn't help."

"So everyone thinks I slept my way to the West Wing?" 

Donna looked positively mortified. CJ tried to backtrack

"No, Donna, of course not"

"CJ, hard as this may be to believe, I'm not quite as innocent as I look."

CJ flopped down beside Donna "Well I suppose some people do, but some people think I slept my way to the West Wing; though whom they think I was with is beyond me."

"Toby," answered Donna, automatically. 

CJ stared at her. "They think I'm having an affair with Toby?" she laughed. "Who told you that?"

"Andi told Josh that she'd heard it on the Hill."

"Andi Wyatt, Toby's ex?"

"Yes, she seemed highly amused."

"She's not the only one. See there you go. It's all nonsense. Don't let it worry you."

"But you said, people actually think, Josh and I..."

"Because they see what you're like together. There's a pretty tangible connection between you two, and since Josh hasn't really been seen in the company of any other woman since he and Mandy broke up, many people assume he's with you. I assure you there is remarkably little judgement in that belief."

Donna looked in no way appeased.

"My point" CJ tried explain herself " was that if you are in love with Josh, don't base your decision on what to do about it, on a fear of making waves."

"CJ, I kind of wish you hadn't told me all this"

"I'm getting that feeling."

"I think I should head back. Josh is due back from the O.E.O.B. soon and given his behaviour today, he'll probably call the FBI the second he can't find me."

"Okay. Donna, please don't let what I've said upset you, just follow your heart."

"The way my week has gone, CJ," Donna replied, "the thing I'm most likely to follow, is the highway out of here."

"Yeah"

"I'll see you later"

"Well Claudia Jean," CJ said to herself, watching Donna walk back the way they'd come, "that was a fine example as to why they picked you for the release of sensitive material."

"There you are." Josh smiled as Donna came round the corner from the lobby.

"I went for a walk with CJ and no we didn't go near the Hill," she snapped.

"Okay." Josh took a step back. "Look I'm sorry about lunch, how about if I buy you dinner at Agatha's?"

"Oh yeah, Josh, being seen in a public restaurant, yeah that's exactly what we should do. Why don't we just go rent a room at the Four Seasons?"

Josh dragged her into his office and shut the door.

"Hell of a time to start worrying about privacy, Joshua," Donna remarked dryly. 

"Is this in some way related to what I said to Sam?"

"Are you so anxious to follow in his footsteps?"

"Please tell me you and Sam haven't-"

"Onto the pages of some gossip rag. I don't know why you're so anxious to become the next Beltway scandal. Let me tell you this though, you've got another thing coming if you think I'm going to throw away what's left of my reputation. Especially for some guy who has no trouble baring his soul to the Communications bullpen, but the best he can come up with to me is: 'Don't wear that dress when you date morons'."

"No-one heard what I said but you and Sam," Josh protested then paused. "Did you say: 'what's left of your reputation'? Your reputation isn't in question."

"According to CJ, half the Federal payroll thinks we're sleeping together. And what's your answer? Not to let these rumors die down but to add fuel to the fire. Are you insane?"

"What in the world possessed CJ to tell you about that?"

"Maybe because I told her that I was worried that if someone from the Press Room caught wind of your idiotic declaration, which by the way other people did hear, it might hurt your career. Silly me."

Josh winced at the word 'idiotic'. "Donna, it's an old rumor. No one gives a damn, anymore, what you and I are or aren't doing."

"You know the competing theory is that you're sleeping with Matt Skinner?"

"Really? Well at least I'm credited with good taste either way. I bet Matt's pissed though." Josh chuckled

"He can take a number."

"Donna, please calm down"

"Of course you don't care, you're cast as the Playboy of the Western World."

"Hardly." He started to laugh again but the mix of anger and hurt in her eyes stopped him. "Why does this have you so wound up? Washington's full of rumors. Ninety eight percent of them aren't true. They aren't even based on something true. On the Metro last weekend, I overheard some guy saying that he'd heard from a reliable source that Liz Bartlet is having the Senate Majority Leader's love-child. Sensible people take them with a grain of salt. So what's up?"

Donna looked down and fiddled with her necklace for a minute before she met his eyes.

"When I was living with my ex, we would meet new people and they would ask if I was in medicine too. He would always laugh and in a manner that could be charitably described as patronizing and say: 'Donna?' And with that one word, in their eyes I became some medical groupie trying to score herself a rich doctor."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want your pity, Josh."

"That was sympathy, not pity"

"I don't want either one, from anyone here. I want their respect"

"And you have it."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Funny, 'cause that's not the way I see it, especially after your little speech this afternoon. The way I see it, from now on, every time I walk past someone, I'm going to be wondering if in their head they're thinking: 'there goes Josh Lyman's strumpet'"

"I don't think anyone around here refers to you as my whore." Josh said darkly, his jaw tight, the veins in his neck starting to stand out.

Donna's anger momentarily abated. "I thought a strumpet was like an english muffin"

"I think that's a crumpet," he fought back a smile, suspecting that if it cracked his lips, she'd slap him. "And unfortunately in describing a woman, the sentiment is remarkably similar. However, no-one refers to you as either one and if I find out they have I'll-"

"You'll what? Threaten them with a bat?"

"I'm going to kill CJ," Josh muttered.

"It's not CJ's fault. It's not CJ that comes and looms over me any time I talk to a guy at a party. It's not CJ wandering around here like a scorned lover every time I go on a date. It's not-"

"Enough! Enough already. Message received!" He could feel his grasp on his temper slipping. "You want me to stop doing those things. Fine, I'll stop. I'll stop putting my hand on your arm or back when we walk down a corridor together. I'll stop bringing you along to black-tie dinners. You can hang out in the back room with Carol and Bonnie and the others, in case you're needed. I'll start speaking to you the way Toby talks to Ginger. And from now on, find some other poor schmuck to get you into the Congressional Christmas party. I have always assumed that you liked the fact that our relationship, dysfunctional as it might be, was different. But if it makes you uncomfortable, we'll go back to the conventional rules. Will that make you happier?"

"I think it might be better."

"I asked if it would make you happier."

"It would make me happier to think people didn't assume we were sleeping together. It would make me happier to not be tried and convicted for a crime I haven't committed."

"Gee thanks for making sex with me sound like a capital offense."

"Josh I'm sor-"

"No really, it's fine." Josh dropped into his desk chair with an air of surrender. "Hey, you know if you ask Mandy, my performance probably is grounds for criminal action, so don't let it trouble you."

"No, Mandy said you were great in bed," Donna allowed.

"You asked Mandy how I was in bed?" Josh stared at her in disbelief.

"Of course not, but I once overheard her telling Lilly about you. It's what you're like out of bed that she took issue with."

Josh began to laugh. He still looked miserable but he was laughing.

"Are you okay?" Donna asked, worried.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Josh replied "It's just not how I expected this day to go."

"What did you expect?"

"I don't know. I simply wanted to get though the day without you running into Kitler or filing sexual harassment charges against me."

"Why on earth would I be filing charges against you? You drive me to distraction but unfortunately there's no law against that."

" 'Don't wear that dress when you date morons.' I thought the subtext might get me into trouble"

"Subtext or not, if I'm not charging Bryan Kitler over his behaviour last night, I'm certainly not going to press charges against you, of all people, for yours."

"Thank you"

"I just wish you'd learn to use some discretion"

"You, Leo, Toby. Look I'm sorry if any of my actions have made you feel uncomfortable, either around me, or around the rest of your colleagues. If I can do anything to repair the damage, including propagating the rumour about me and Matt, I will."

"I should get back to work. I'm still looking for two of those files you wanted"

"You don't need to-"

"No, you asked for them you're going to get all fifty, even if you trip over them for the next week."

Josh thought he saw a hint of their old camaraderie in the flash of a smile that crossed her face but it was too brief to do much with. He waited 'til she'd left his office then began to quietly thump his head against his desk

Half an hour had passed. After five minutes Josh had given up on work and had begun pacing his office, trying and failing to figure out a way to put all the pieces back together. He paused and leaned against his doorway, watching Donna as she searched through the computer index, muttering to herself. Several different emotions were at war within him and the Foreign Legion was beginning to look good after all. Hit by sudden resolve, he marched across the bullpen toward CJ's office. He might not be able to fix his problems with Donna, but there were still a few things under his realm of control.

CJ looked up as he walked in without knocking. 

"Walk with me"

"Josh?" CJ asked taking in his grim expression

"Walk with me."

He turned and headed toward Sam's office. 

"Since when do you start giving orders? CJ demanded, nevertheless following him.

"Josh I'm sorry" Sam began as his friend entered, CJ at his heels.

"Don't talk. Listen." Josh instructed "Both of you, sit."

Sam looked at CJ but she shrugged.

Josh sized them both up then said firmly: "Quit helping."

"What?" they asked in unison.

"The 'Donna and Josh' thing. Stop helping. Donna and I were doing just fine on our own. So I haunt the halls like Lincoln's ghost whenever she goes on a date. So what? It means if she needs me, which in this case she did, she knows where to find me. Yes, I know it's readily apparent to all and sundry that I have feelings for my assistant, I own a mirror. That said, until you two jumped in we were okay, unusual perhaps, unfathomable maybe but okay. Currently I'll be lucky if she shows up for work Monday morning."

"I know what I did but what did you do?" Sam queried of CJ.

"I kind of told Donna that many people assumed she and Josh were involved on a non-professional level."

"That'd do it"

"Yep"

"So now, she believes that everyone thinks she slept her way into her job." Josh explained with a degree of agitation. " I doubt she'll want to be in the same room as me for fear of confirming the suspicion in someone else's mind. Don't you get it? Donna goes on a date, what once every six weeks? Up until the point where I handed over my love life to you two advice columnists, it meant that at other functions: speeches, after- parties, chili nights with the Commander-in-Chief, she was there with me."

"Which is why everyone thinks you're together," Sam pointed out.

"Sam, we all know people got bored with speculating about Donna and me over a year ago."

"Which I'll tell her."

"No CJ, you'll butt out before you cause any more destruction. What, what were you thinking, telling her about those old rumors?"

"I was trying to do damage control."

"And it worked really well didn't it?" 

"Josh in all fairness," Sam put in, "we just wanted you to be happy."

"I was happy. Now I'm miserable."

"Oh."

"Yeah 'oh'. Guys, I don't need to be sleeping with Donna to be in love with her. Yes, sure I'd like it if we had a physical relationship, but realistically that might not be possible right now. It may not be something I can have. Let me tell you though: if I get sent up to the Hill, I know that she'll work in my office while I'm gone so that she can check the window to see when I'm coming back. When I buy my lunch I order double fries, cause Donna, who will not order them for herself, always eats half. Do you think, with everything else I have on my plate, that I give a damn about horseback drive-by shootings or Indonesian sorcery? But I listen 'cause I like having her tell me. I have tickets for Yo-Yo Ma at Wolf Trap six months from now. Do you know how many tickets to cello concerts I bought before this administration? None, nada, not a one. However, that woman, who makes it not only her job but her mission to look after me, has a thing for Yo-Yo Ma. So if he's playing anywhere between here and Philadelphia, I'm going to make sure that she gets to go. If I get sick, Donna nags me about eating chicken soup. If we're out in the sun I'm going to hear about how alabaster skin burns. If we're dealing with the South Pacific or Switzerland or the Caribbean or Italy, I'm going to hear about how I should be taking her there. Most importantly, if I do something really right, if I remember to stand up for the little guy, I might to get to hear that she's proud of me. These are the rituals by which I live and it might not look like much to anyone else but they're mine and I don't want them tampered with. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"Yes Josh."

"Yes Josh."

"Fine. Thanks for trying to help me. I know I normally look like I need all the help I can get. However, in this one area, this one sliver of my life, could you please just leave it alone?"

They nodded

"Thank you"

 

If Donna hadn't been trying to fight the lump in her throat or the tears welling up in her eyes she might have noticed that Josh had started walking back to his office. As it was, she looked up and found him leaning casually against a wall, arms crossed watching her.

"Tell me something," he said archly. "Have you always had this habit of eavesdropping, or is this a new aspect of your character coming to light?"

 


	3. What You Will 3

 

  ****

What You Will: Part 3

By The Bondi Gargoyle

Disclaimers in Part 1

If Donna hadn't been trying to fight the lump in her throat or the tears welling up in her eyes she might have noticed that Josh had started walking back to his office. As it was, she looked up and found him leaning casually against a wall, arms crossed, watching her.

"Tell me something," he said archly. "Have you always had this habit of eavesdropping, or is this a new aspect of your character coming to light?"

> > She turned her back on him and began making her way to her desk. "Apparently it's the only way I learn anything around here"

He caught up to her, putting a hand on her arm to make her stand still.

"Come for a walk with me."

"A walk? Suddenly the entire West Wing wants me to go for a walk."

"What?" 

"Nothing. Where do you want to walk?"

He had no idea. He just felt that they needed to find neutral ground and talk. He said the first thing that came to mind: "The rose garden."

"You've developed a sudden interest in flowers?"

"I like flowers I've always liked flowers."

"You hate nature but fine."

The night was warm and the air was full of the scent of wet grass and roses. Josh took a deep breath 

"That smell always make me think of my Dad," he confided.

Donna sat on one of the benches. "How come?"

"We had a rose bush next to the driveway. I came home late one night, about a week before I graduated from high school and there was my Dad sitting on the back steps. He must have just gotten home from the office, because he was still wearing his suit." Josh had his head tilted back and was staring at a satellite drifting across the sky as he spoke. "At first I thought he was mad because I was a couple of minutes late for curfew but then I noticed that he was holding my basketball. He looked at me and he said 'You grew up much faster than I thought you would' and then he suggested that we play some one-on-one."

"Did you?"

Josh refocused on Donna. "Yeah, we did. It's midnight and Dad and I are out there shooting hoops. Then John Hogarth, our next door neighbor came out. The noise had disturbed him and he thought it was me, goofing off with one of my friends. When he saw Dad, he went back inside and woke up his son Jerry, who was a couple of years younger than me, and we all played basketball for something like four hours." He glanced at her. "Sorry that's not why I dragged you out here, the scent of the roses just reminded me"

"Don't apologize."

Josh crouched down beside the bench, resting his arms across his thighs, his hands clasped in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak but Donna beat him to the punch.

"Josh are you mad at me?"

"I thought that you were mad at me."

"A little, but this morning, I got the feeling that you were pissed off with me."

"Because I told you not to go out to lunch?"

"Because of that, because you were practically mono-syllabic on the drive to work, because you flipped out that the Berens memo was in twelve point instead of ten."

"I take the aesthetics of the documents that my staff put out very seriously."

"Josh!" Donna groaned.

Josh stood up and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I was kind of pissed off this morning but not at you."

"What were you mad about?"

"A situation"

"What situation? And I'm as prepared to do this one word at a time as you are. So rather than sit out here all night could you just tell me?"

Josh was quiet for a minute. Donna sat patiently waiting

"I was mad about... I was upset that Bryan Kitler of all people has the right to kiss you goodnight and I don't."

"So you're mad at me because I let Bryan Kitler kiss me"

"No." Then off her look, "maybe."

"I see"

Josh figured that since the cat was out of the bag, he might as well put voice to his frustrations. "How could you let him touch you? I mean I don't fully understand why you went out with him but how-"

"Because he asked!" Donna shouted at him "On both counts because unlike you, who can talk around a subject for years, he came right out and asked. Okay so Brian Kitler may not be as smart as you or as successful as you, and, as it turns out, he isn't a particularly nice guy. But he's got you beat on one count, Josh, and that is that at least he's clear on what he wants."

"Yeah I noticed." Josh snarled "Gotta love a guy who's direct"

"I don't see how you can justify getting mad at me for choosing Bryan over you, which by the way I didn't, but I know that's what you're thinking, when you won't just come out and tell me what you want. Me Josh, not Sam, not CJ, me."

Josh scuffed at the grass with the toe of his shoe but remained silent

"I'll tell you something else. It really wasn't Bryan Kitler I wanted to have kiss me goodnight. It never is." She got up to go back inside.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry, I want, well never mind what I want." She took two steps toward the building then whirled back around to face him, looking less angry, more vulnerable "How come you can tell Sam and for that matter CJ but not me? Did you think I was going to laugh in your face?"

"Laugh? No." Josh shook his head "But it is easier to talk about it with Sam and CJ than to say it to you and have you look at me with that face you get when you're about to tell me something I don't want to hear. I guess it's like being back in junior high when you get your best friend to ask her best friend if she likes you."

"Haven't we all grown up since then?"

"Have we?" Josh asked. "I have a theory that much of the world's love poetry, at least the part of it penned by men was never really intended for women. It was written to show off to other guys because the poet was too scared to actually go talk to the object of his desire. 'We men may say more, swear more, but indeed our shows are more than will; for still we prove much in our vows and little in our love.'"

"Shakespeare as it was meant to be done?" 

"Well it was that or Andrew Marvell, and I didn't think 'To His Coy Mistress ' was entirely appropriate."

Donna had to smile.

Josh echoed the grin but then his face crumpled to something more like disappointment. "And then there's Article Seven, Section Two"

"Article Seven, Section Two? Somehow I think we just left the subject of poetry."

" 'No supervisor shall engage, in a relationship of a sexual or romantic nature with a direct sub-ordinate.' Not exactly Walt Whitman. What's more, I'll lay you even odds that the sonuvabitch who wrote that was engaging in a sexual romantic relationship with a sub-ordinate hence the word 'direct' sneaking in there but it doesn't help me either way. The only person on the White House payroll I'm technically allowed to date is Toby and I don't think I could carry on a relationship with a Yankees fan."

"You're quoting the Federal Employees Workplace Standards Act aren't you?" Donna ignored the last remark.

"Yeah. Donna, if I were to say the things in my heart out loud to someone other than Sam and CJ but particularly to you; and if the fates decided for one brief minute to take pity on me and you said them back, then Leo would have no choice but to split us up. I know this is going to sound like I've finally lost what's left of my mind but I'd rather have you by my side every day in that office than in my bed for the few nights when I'm not so dog-tired for it to make a difference."

The last of Donna's anger faded away.

"That's why I haven't said it to you" Josh confessed. "It doesn't mean I don't feel it, believe me I feel it. I just can't say it."

"What were you going to do?" Donna asked gently "Wait 'til the Inauguration Day of whoever succeeds President Bartlet and then go down on one knee?"

"That and sabotage every date you go on between now and then. Those that don't self-destruct on their own."

"Self � destruction. Is that how you'd characterize last night?"

"I'm going to characterize last night as a one time occurrence and pray it stays that way," Josh declared seriously

"Let me ask you something, FEWSA is an Act of Congress right?"

"Hence the word 'act' in the title."

"Signed into law by the President, in this case President Bartlet's predecessor covering all Federal employees from the Attorney General, to the guy in the HUD regional office in Bismarck, to the lady who gives the White House tours right?"

He shot her a weary look that suggested he wasn't in the mood for a civics lesson but nodded "Yes"

"No."

"No?"

"You, me and Shelley Gilmore are exempt."

"Who's Shelley Gilmore?"

"The tour guide on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays."

"And why are we three special cases?" Josh was trying to keep up and failing miserably.

"To quote 'The White House and Congress are exempt from the workplace related laws that they pass.' Now who was it that told me that?"

A slow smile spread across Josh's face as Donna continued: "For those of us who work in the White House, FEWSA is at best an outline of expectations. Infringements have to be dealt with on a case by case basis by Leo and you."

Josh just continued to smile and shake his head

Donna took a deep breath then said softly: "Say it, don't say it but don't hide behind legislation, okay?"

Josh waited until she had started across the lawn before throwing his arms wide and yelling "I love you!"

Donna stopped and turned around again, trying very hard, (and not particularly succeeding) to look annoyed in spite of his words. "This wasn't supposed to negate our earlier discussion on discretion."

Josh moved to join her, still grinning. "I think we should make a deal."

"What's that?" she asked, curious

"I won't hide behind legislation and you don't get to hide behind rumours."

"I wasn't hiding behind anything!" Donna protested

"Right and you've been outstandingly forthcoming about how you feel."

"Look, knowing you as I do, I had every right to believe that given enough rope you'd hang yourself. Washington thrives on scandal. It's like living in an Edith Wharton novel. Have you thought about what Mary Marsh will do if she thinks she has you on illicit affair with your assistant? She'll call Mark Gottfried's producer before you can say 'unethical hiring practices'."

"One, apart from anything else, since I was sleeping with someone else when I hired you, it's not unethical. Two, Mark hates Mary Marsh. She's too far right to even make good television, except when I help. As you will recall, for that fateful day, he'd booked Al Caldwell, Mary was asked to fill in at the last minute. Three, Mrs. Marsh is misguided about many things, on which, when taken off the leash, I am happy to set her straight but there is one thing about which I will never correct her, or Mark Gottfried or the House Majority Leader, and that is you and me. As far as I'm concerned they can cling to their misconceptions 'til the next time the British burn Washington."

"What are you talking about?"

"Mary thinks you're my wife. She might run with the thing about Matt and I, in fact-"

"Josh stop! Stop being playing to the balcony for one minute and tell me what you're talking about. Please?"

"You heard me."

"They think I'm your wife?"

"CJ left that part out huh? The rumours weren't that we were sleeping together, they were that we were married." 

Donna's eyes widened in amazement "How on earth did people leap to that conclusion?"

"Is it so far-fetched?"

"No Josh we keep separate apartments, don't wear wedding bands and date other people, of course the first conclusion anyone would jump to is that we were married"

"On the other hand, there hasn't been a thirty six hour period since we took office that we haven't at least spoken on the phone. We eat together, sit together at the President's movie nights, I send you flowers, you buy my ties. We finish each other's fries, beers and sentences. You have to admit that there's an obvious connection. I guess we were naïve to think that people were just going to ignore it"

"But married?"

"Wouldn't you rather have them think that than come to conclusion that we were having a torrid affair?"

"But why didn't they come to that conclusion?"

"Well CJ's theory is that we don't act like people conducting a clandestine relationship"

"Perhaps because we aren't, or at least we weren't."

"Do remember Senator Archer? He was a Democrat out of...."

"Wisconsin. Josh I know who he is, I voted for him, mores the pity. He resigned at midterms didn't he? Once it came out that he was sleeping with one of his staffers?"

"That's him."

"Would you have to resign if it was discovered you were sleeping with one of your staff?"

He raised his eyebrows slightly at her use of the abstract but chose not to comment on it.

"Well apparently not, given that there's no rule against it. Even if there were, I'm not married with four children and I rarely pontificate on the erosion of family values, so the hypocrisy factor is a little less glaring. The reason I brought him up is this; do you remember when he met with Leo and me on the Test Ban Treaty?"

"Yes"

"You commented after the meeting that he was incredibly rude to his aide, in fact I believe you said he even made me look like a decent guy to work for."

"I remember."

"That was the woman."

"And in order to conceal what was going on between them in private, he was unpleasant to her in public." Donna concluded knowingly

"Exactly. Misdirection and subterfuge. But we don't behave like that so people came up with another explanation."

"If we had been cold and abrupt, people would have assumed we were sleeping together but hiding it, so because we're civil they decided we're sleeping together but married?"

"I think we moved beyond civil a long time ago, in fact I'd say our lack of civility intrigues them more than anything else."

"I'm not going to start calling you 'Sir', so give it up"

"Worth a try," he muttered with a small puck-like grin.

"So is there anyone who didn't assume we were sleeping together?"

"All kinds of people. Including the ones who really matter. Donna, people like Leo and the President, CJ, Sam, Toby and the others, they all know why you have your job and that it has nothing to do with sex."

"You didn't keep me around because you wanted to...did you?"

"You don't seriously need me to answer that?"

He could tell by her face that as much as she wanted to say no, part of her also needed to hear him say it.

"You work for me because you are smart, talented and I am organizationally challenged at the best of times. You work for me because I don't function well without you. And while I suppose the fact that I like having you around has played a part, it was in addition to your abilities, not in spite of them."

"Thank you"

"So much as I'm sure it pains you to think anyone would assume you actually consented to marry me, you don't need to worry about them believing you slept your way into the West Wing."

"Why didn't you just say that earlier?"

"Donna you didn't even want to eat dinner with me, I wasn't sure how you'd react to knowing that I had let people believe that we were married."

"Must have really put a cramp in your love life. All those cute congressional interns thinking you were taken," she laughed

Josh sighed. "Do I need to do this at the top of my lungs again? I l-"

"Josh, shut up. And I love you too."

Donna took hold of his tie and pulled him to her, then pressed a deep kiss against his mouth. It was like kissing a live circuit. A current flowed through them, pulling them closer together, pulling them over the edge into the deep end of the pool. 

"Wow!" Donna murmured breathlessly as they parted.

"That was definitely worth waiting for." Josh agreed huskily. "Man if kissing is that good, think how great the rest of it's going to be."

Donna blushed.

"I really didn't intend to say that out loud," he admitted

"It's okay. I'll choose to be flattered rather than offended" she grinned at him

"Good" Josh moved to kiss her again but then paused "Is that how you kissed Bryan Kitler?"

"Oh I give up." Donna pushed him away

"Donna, wait. I'm sorry, that was way out of line."

"What the hell is the matter with you, Josh? You've been acting like a complete nutbar all day. It's like you can't decide which of us to be more angry at: Bryan for what he did after he kissed me or me for kissing him in the first place."

"Or myself for letting it happen."

She remembered what Leo had said earlier.

"Donna, I've known Bryan Kitler for years, since I was Brennan's Chief of Staff. He worked for me. He was a jerk then and he's a jerk now."

"Agreed, but knowing that that's what you thought wasn't going to stop me from going out with him."

"I should have told you."

"Told me what? That I have lousy taste in men? You've told me that about a hundred times before. I hate to break it to you Josh, but I don't take every word out of your mouth as gospel truth. Look," she said more gently "you're my boss and my friend, and believe me I was very glad to see you last night but you are not my keeper. I accepted the date, on my own. You could have told me that Bryan Kitler was the re-incarnation of Jack the Ripper and I would have ignored you, because I don't think you're impartial. This was not your fault, Joshua"

"He could have really hurt you." Josh said, finally allowing the pictures that had been in the back of mind all day to surface.

"But he didn't. I'd like to think that even if you hadn't shown up I would have been able to deal with it but I'm really grateful that I didn't have to find out. Okay?"

When he didn't reply, she said again "Josh? Okay?"

"Yeah okay" He knew the guilt wouldn't go away quite that quickly, but at least he could look at her without feeling like he'd let her down.

"So about the fact that I kissed him."

"We don't have to do this"

"Yeah I think maybe we do. It was just a kiss, okay? It meant nothing."

"And a minute ago, was that 'just a kiss' too?"

She sighed "I know I'm going to regret telling you this but..."

"But?"

"Every guy I've dated in the last few years has been an attempt to get over you."

"Really?" The look of consternation he'd been wearing started to fade and his usual cocky grin to re-assert itself.

"Yes" Donna reluctantly conceded.

"Seriously?"

"Do you think I'd give you that kind of ammunition if I was kidding? You're a smart, funny, generous man. I mean you're also the most irritating, arrogant, insufferable-"

"Donna?"

"I'm just trying to add some balance to the proceedings. Anyway every time I thought I was just about over you, every time you had reached new heights of dorkdom-"

"Dorkdom?"

"You would do something like hiring Charlie, or taking on the pharmaceutical companies; like caring more about the Cuban refugees than the fact that you were about to get fired, or telling the NSC to keep their card, or going after a guy with a baseball bat cause you thought he might be hurting me and-"

"Hang on, how the hell did you hear about that?"

"I was there" Donna shook her head not understanding

"No, not the baseball bat, the NSC?" 

"Leo told me."

"Leo told you? You're security clearance isn't nearly high enough to-"

"You were dying, Josh."

That brought him up short

"You were in your tenth hour of surgery when you started to stroke out for a minute. Leo and I were in the observation room and I almost fainted. Leo grabbed hold of me and just started talking. It took me a minute to pay attention but when I did I realized he was telling me a story about you giving back the card and what you said when you did. By the time he finished, they had your blood pressure back under control."

Josh quietly put his arms around her. He forgot sometimes, what she had been though with the shooting and its aftermath. "You didn't tell anyone else right?" he murmured softly as she slid her arms around his waist 

"No. But I wanted you to know that I know. It's who you are, what you're made of, it's what I fell in love with. Every time, I met some other guy who I thought I might be happy with, you'd pull some super-Josh move and I'd be hooked again."

"Should I apologize for not being a dork enough of the time?"

"How about you just apologize for being one today?"

"I'm sorry" he brushed her lips with his own "Really, really sorry"

"And I'm really, really sorry I kissed Bryan Kitler."

"Yeah?"

"Well apart from anything else, he's a lousy kisser"

Josh laughed then seemed to think of something.

"Donna your decision not to press charges, that's not because you're worried about me is it? Because if it is-"

"No, though I still think you should wipe your prints off Toby's bat."

"I suspect Toby's already done that."

"When I talked to Ainsley this morning, about what happened, it was her opinion that we'd have a hard time making anything stick. He could walk free or he could get community service but anything else was unlikely."

"Why?"

"Because I wasn't hurt badly enough."

Josh tightened his arms. He was angry again but at least now he was clear about at whom it was directed. 

"Monday morning I start making calls, we're passing Lobo's bill if it kills me"

"Did you and Leo discuss it with her today?"

"Once she saw the tape, it was pretty much the central focus but Leo and I talked after she'd left. The White House will be backing it."

"Cause the First Lady will make your lives miserable if we don't?"

"That played a part, yes, but also because we got a bit of a wake-up call."

"Sorry if I scared you" Donna touched his jaw lightly

"Hey, you weren't hurt. That's the most important thing. That and the fact that Kitler's being fired."

"Can she fire him over this? It took place outside of work hours."

"Conduct unbecoming."

"If FEWSA doesn't apply to us then it-"

"Bryan Kitler's not a federal employee, he's an employee of Washington State. They have their own code and he broke it." Josh grinned "I think we'll call this one a win."

"Uh-huh" Donna decided to let him smirk. He'd earned a little gloating

"So I have an idea," her beloved changed the subject.

"What's that?"

"Well since half of D.C. thinks we're already married, why don't we go to Vegas and do it?"

"Get married?"

"Yes"

"This weekend?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Well for all of the usual reasons, also because if Leo doesn't agree with your interpretation of FEWSA, I think it gives us a safety net."

Donna looked confused "How?"

"Well everyone knows marriage isn't about sex or romance."

"You're really selling your case."

"Yes or No?"

"No."

"'Kay let me rephrase that-"

" Josh I love you, I want to be with you but I am not eloping with you."

"Why not?"

"Because my mother, the patron saint of large family weddings, will never forgive either one of us and will make us pay dearly at every and all subsequent family gatherings. Furthermore I don't want to be married by Elvis, young or old. Not to mention that I'd like to take our time with this thing. I don't think we need to run the full gamut from single to married in forty-eight hours."

"How about seventy two hours?"

"How about we re-visit this after the election?"

"That's months away!"

"Shock horror"

"I hate waiting."

"Surprising 'cause you're so good at it."

"Hey, I've waited years for you. I haven't been dating other people."

"Ahem"

"You could hardly classify that weekend with Sarah Wissenger as a date besides that wasn't about you, that was to bug Mandy"

"It would be in your own best interest to stop talking, right now."

"Deal" Josh whispered, as his mouth once again sought hers.

"Weren't you going to buy me dinner?" Donna asked the next time they paused for breath 

"Gonna hold me to that are you?"

"Josh, some of those files haven't seen the light of day since people were walking around wearing 'I like Ike' buttons. Can you conceive of how much dust that is? You're buying me several dinners."

"Tonight"

"Over multiple nights"

"I really did need them."

"At lunch time?"

"There's no may for me to win this, is there?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"'Kay. Are we still starting with Agatha's tonight?"

"Do you have another suggestion? And so help me, Josh, if you say Kentucky Fried, that's what you'll be."

"Well" Josh ventured "I know a great little place in Georgetown, very discreet, excellent wine list"

"How's the menu?"

"Let's see at the moment, a box of Poptarts, five eggs, three cans of soup, a tube of Pringles, a box of Cheerios, half a packet of Oreos, a carton of milk that might still be good and the number of the best Chinese take out in three states on speed dial."

"Tempting" Donna nodded considering, then she grinned wickedly "What about 'the rest of it'?"

"Oh, that's the house specialty" Josh's expression matched her own. 

"In that case, what are we still hanging around here for?"

 

Come Monday, Josh had to fight not to walk into work grinning.

"Morning Donna" he called nonchalantly. They had driven in separately, though that was practically the only time they'd been apart since Friday night.

"Morning Josh. You've got about three minutes 'til 'Senior Staff'," she informed him from the coffee area.

"Thanks. How was your weekend?" He dropped his backpack on his desk and sifted through the morning wires. There was a pause and he mentally pictured her staring at his back in confusion then realizing his words were for the benefit of the other staff slowly wandering into the bullpen.

"Oh it was okay, I guess. I had a date."

"How'd it go?" Josh asked, his smile widening at the memory of the weekend, as he skimmed the numbers out of Tokyo.

"You know the usual," Donna replied feeling that it was her job to protect Josh from his own ego, "pathetic guy, dull evening, no future in it."

He appeared beside her, his voice much lower. "Dull? Pathetic?"

"My aren't we sensitive" she murmured, teasing him, her smile mischievous and wide

"Is that for me?" he pointed to the coffee in her hand

"Not that much has changed."

" A guy can hope." Josh poured himself a cup.

"Morning, Josh. Hi, Donna." Sam rounded the corner.

"Hi, Sam"

"Morning" Donna returned to her desk

"Where were you all weekend?" Sam asked Josh. "I called you to go to the Oriels game but I kept getting your answering service."

"Oh I went off to lick my wounds."

There was a loud crash as Donna dropped her coffee cup.

"You okay?" Sam spun around, concerned.

Donna nodded.

"Are you sure? You didn't get burned?"

She shook her head

"Do you have the file for Toby?" Josh asked looking particularly amused from behind Sam's shoulder.

"I'm just drying it off" Donna replied shooting him a warning look

"I'll meet you at Toby's office after 'Senior Staff'"

"You do that."

Sam looked at Josh then at Donna and finally back at Josh. He opened his mouth but Josh cut him off.

"What did we decide about you speaking on this topic."

Sam closed his mouth and smiled "Okay then, but can I just say this?"

"Sam."

"Told you so. That's all, just told you so."

Josh thought about it, "Okay Sam you win."

"Thank you."

"But Sam, your turn is coming." Josh winked at Donna then started to walk to the meeting

"What's that supposed to mean? Josh? Come on Josh, what do you mean my turn is coming? Josh?"

The end


End file.
